Early in the morning, when I opened my eyes, I looked out of the window. Outside, the sky was covered with a blanket of clouds, laughing_ maybe preparing to cry. I closed the scene with my eyes. After a while, I came out, washed my hands, sat down under the cloudy sky with a cup of tea and took a sip to it.
The weather calmed me down so much that the first thought that came to my mind was yours. Why to think of you? But what if I don’t think of you? And then I realize I can only think you as my ability to think anything else than related to you is paralyzed after you.
I wish you were with me and we would play together on the waves by the river_ the waves would touch our feet. The mournful but low sound of the waves, me and you. I lost everything with time_ literally everything.
With the thought the eyes of the clouds flickered, the sky also began to weep. And those drops took me back to many years to the world of memories.
“Some memories are so beautiful that life can be lived with those memories,” once you said. There are some memories that I will never want to forget_ not ever.
I still remember that cool wind, the swaying field, the flowers and between them the sitting you. It was a beautiful moment when you were picking flowers for me. You know I love flowers, I really love nature actually, maybe from the moment I am, or from the moment you join me.
We met years later, it was raining at that time, very attractive and pleasant weather it was but, I reckon the beauty of the weather was and is all in you. Maybe the weather doesn’t matter if you weren’t with it. You know what! I was laughing out loud years later that day!
Should I share one more thing? Huh, of course you will say yes. Do you know, I have found myself close to God by finding myself close to you! You may not know that when you were picking flowers for me, I was not looking at the flowers, for fear that I would close my eyes and lose you, and lose your hand.
Lost in all these thoughts, I did not know when the raindrops had soaked me and bitterness of the tears was drying my throat.
When I came out of this collection of thoughts, I remembered that I had to hear your voice, and I wanted to see you. So, I stood in front of the mirror and started talking to myself. I looked at myself for a long time, because I never considered myself separate from you.