“The subtle art of not giving a f*ck” is an inspirational book with more than two million readers jotted down by Mark Manson, a star blogger, lives in New York City.
This book helps us in finding easy ways to choose things (important or unimportant) cautiously and scrutinize the values (good or bad) shrewdly. We should learn to focus on appropriate things, prioritize our thoughts and choose what matters to us.
Everyone wants you to believe that the secret to a good life is to have a nicer job, a better car or a prettier girlfriend. The key to a good life is not giving a fuck about more; it is giving a fuck about less, giving a fuck about only what is immediate, important and meaningful.
Mark Manson pens that life is a form of suffering. Firstly, we should comprehend the phenomenon of sufferings being faced in our life but we never do. Instead, we find ways to avoid sufferings which is definitely ludicrous for the ones who chase life to achieve success in their life. Sufferings actually give birth to success. We should not avoid sufferings rather to confront it valiantly.
It is rightly quoted in the book;
“One day, in retrospect, the years of struggles will strike you as the most beautiful”
The book motivates us to embrace the failures and confront the challenges. Everything worthwhile in life is achieved through surmounting the associated negative experiences. Be honest with yourself. Ask yourself how you feel about negative aspects of yours. If you can sincerely asses the negative aspects and work on improving them, you are in a good spot.
It emphasizes on us to take responsibility and take ownership of our problems which empower us to solve them effectively and bring a positive change in our life. But on the contrary, we are bent on shifting our problems onto others and blame others for our failures which is totally wrong.
We need to define goals wisely which further define our future. Traditional goals like graduating from college or university do little to bring genuine happiness because our proudest achievements come in the face of the greater adversity
The author tells that you are not special. You must measure yourself in a rational way. Give up on the grandiose ideas of yourself: that you are uniquely intelligent, talented, or good looking, or victimized in ways others even couldn’t imagine. Before labeling yourself special, you must have good reasons to feel good about yourself. It apparently deters the ways of seeking new things and forces to ignore others’ ideas and accept innovative happenings. However, no one is superior than others and we should accept us as ‘common’ with the rest of the society in order to unfold the doors of improvement.
Avoidance of failure is the true failure. We would never acquire success if we make efforts to avoid failure in our life. Failure is the first step towards success. Failure provides us opportunities to improve ourselves. It gives us the chances not to repeat the mistakes. It equips us with the ray of hope to witness ourselves.
Constant positivity is a form of avoidance, not a valid solution to life’s problems—problems which, by the way, if you’re choosing the right values and metrics, should be invigorating you and motivating you. When we force ourselves to stay positive at all times, we deny the existence of our life’s problems. And when we deny our problems, we rob ourselves of the chance to sort out them and generate happiness.
Don’t hope for a life without problems. Hope for a life with good problems. Problems never stop. They merely get exchanged or upgraded. Happiness is found in solving problems, not avoiding them. Problems add a sense of meaning and importance to our lives.
The importance of saying “No” is inevitable for the ultimate success in one’s life. We should have the potential of uttering ‘no’ in some circumstances of life. It is wisely observed that we prioritize others’ ideas and we mostly rely upon others’ in making decisions for ourselves. We should learn to decide and dare to reject futile things take place in our life. But people avoid rejections which give us sadness and discomfort. Uttering “No” is very imperative for the self-determination and self-freedom. It invigorates us in wake of commitment and determination.
At the end, the author points out that death is the light by which the shadow of all of life’s meaning is measured. Ergo, we must remember that we are going to die one day. Reminding ourselves that life is finite helps us to overcome the superficial values that weigh us down.
Manson makes arguments that human beings are flawed and limited. As he writes, “not everybody can be extraordinary—there are winners and losers in society, and some of it is not fair or your fault.” Manson advises us to get to know our limitations and embrace our fears, faults and uncertainties which are the real source of empowerment.